Month 18: My Heart

We are on our second family vacation to San Diego - this year, we're with our friends and their one year old daughter (Ava, Daniel's lady love).

Tonight, Daniel crashed early - today was a big day for him - his first real day at the beach. (Last year, it was cold and he was sick, so it didn't count!) Today he and Ava played in the sand for hours (you can only imagine the places we had to clean later to get all the sand out!)

He's growing more physically affectionate every day, something I have been hoping for for a long time. He now enjoys resting his head on our shoulder when he's sleepy, and giving spontaneous hugs. Sometimes Fernando and I sit on the floor, a few yards apart, and Daniel runs back and forth, throwing himself into our arms for "mama hug" and "dada hug".

Tonight we heard him and Ava giggling on the couch while watching Veggie Tales. We peeked around the corner and witnesses the cutest event in history. No exaggeration. They were leaning on each other, back and forth, to rest their heads while they watched the movie. All of a sudden, Daniel leaned really far and wound up with his head in her lap. He just laid there, watching the movie, and Ava giggled furiously and put her hand on his head. It lasted only a few minutes (Ava began protesting) but it was adorable.

At 6:30, he couldn't keep his eyes open any longer, and I put him down for the night. As usual, I rocked him on my shoulder, singing quietly and patting his back. He went right down, but awoke an hour later with a cry. I went in to check on him, and he wanted "up up up". After a few more songs I realized he just wasn't ready to be alone. So I tried something that has never worked before - I laid down with him. He was curled up on my shoulder, with one leg over my stomach, and he didn't move a muscle... just laid there quietly, hugging me tightly. We laid there for a good twenty minutes - singing quietly, him snuggling in even more...

I don't think my heart has ever hurt that badly. This love is the most bittersweet emotion I have experienced - pure joy and pure ache at the same time.